Hangover Day...
Woke up with paint all over me. I can remember some ropes hanging from the ceiling and a big paintbrush... Mom and Dad will love their new bedroom wall...
Friday!
Had some beers... Sang a song. Had some more beer... Howl some songs... Fell asleep on the kitchen floor...
Today a package arrived from abroad. Some stuff Dad will sell on the web. I helped him to check everything of a list. He wouldn made it without me...
Tuesday.
Watched a horror movie when I was home alone. I was not scared at all. Not a bit...
Sorry... Haven´t been able to blog. Has been sick in bed. Don´t know why. Dad tried to woke me up yesterday to tell me I had a diarrhea. I did not notice until this morning.
Well now I´m fine again. Time to get out in the park and continue to eat on the dead bird outthere.
The cat-ears and tail was delicious! I gave some to Mom. She always say she love cats.
Monday.
I am on my paws again... Wow...
Realize I got a uneaten cat in the freezer. I don´t know if I should make a wok or a cat-pie. I can fried the ears and tail in some butter and make some nice sauce.
Oh my god... Not good...
Whoohoooo!!!
Two weeks just gone! What the fuck happened??? I have cleaned the whole apartment. Twice every day. Twice every night. Time for some sleep...
Sunday.
I´ll better fix some disguise. I will get rid of the last delivery tonight. Maybe I should eat it? It´s sin to flush it down the toilette. Such expensive stuff...
Must change pawn-prints. Borrow Dad´s scanner to read them in to the computer. Then edit them, print them out and glue them to my pawns.
Mexican cops are so easy to fool...
Fuck....
Monday.
Watched some boxing om TV last night. Two guys who really had a dogfight. After a while one of them had a rest on the flor. A short rest. When he got up they was friends again and someone gave them water...
Dad got home and closed the balcony door. He wondered who had tried to closed it with stickers...
I fall asleep under the dressing gown. Woke up. Was to hot. Had to put out the pawns. Fall asleep again...
Freezing! I manage to open the balcony door this morning. Now I can´t close it because I have no thumbs to grip the handle with. I hope Mom and Dad soon come home... They have thumbs... I borrow mom´s dressing gown meanwhile.
Friday.
Found a picture of a deceased relative. I guess he also used tooth-bleaching...
Strange... After I used the teeth-bleach the snot taste weird. Can´t help it, I just had to taste it over and over again. Got cramp in the tongue. Fall asleep. Woke up. Got cramp. Fall asleep...
Friday.
Got a free-sample in the mail today. Tooth-bleach. Some paste to eat up. My teeth was withe as rice corn... Wholemeal rice...
I got a wierd feeling in my stomach now...
Sunday.
Had a walk in the park. Muddy today. The leaf get stuck on my feet's. They made the pie splashed all over me when I wee wee... I must looked ridiculous.. I pulled the hood over my head so no one recognize me...
Mom saw that my bed was a little bit higher than usual. She pulled away my blanket and found the empty beer cans. I looked at them and pretended I never saw them before. She said that if I´m old enough to drink beer, I´m old enough to recycle the cans...
Wednesday.
I cleaned the couch and singed "Who let´s the dog out". Went well. Strange smell. Mom says it´s because of bad teeth...
They got me... Mom find the leftovers i had hide under the pillow in the couch. Can´t blame the pizza-delivery man anymore... Mom said I have the day for cleaning it up. Hm.. Can´t find the spot-remover. I guess the washing powder will work.
Today me and Dad went to get the new stickers. Strange... Now the car works just fine.
If someone out there want some stickers, just send me you address and I mail some. There are great to put on cats.
Wednesday.
Mom wonder where all the doe is coming from. It was a mess in the microoven. Dad had to open it with a screwdriver. I said it has to be the pizza delivery guy... I said that he had borrow the oven. I gave the number to pizza delivery to Mom then went back to sleep.
Friday.
Wow! I forgot... Today is the day when Mom and Dad comes home. Thai had some gifts for me. Some t-shirt´s, toys and shoes. I hate shoes... It feels like walking in porridge when I wear shoes. I hate porridge...
Washingday.
Mom said that I only had to wash the dirty laundry when she is Abroad. I checked the laundry bag and found only clean dog-smelling clothes there. Maybe because I slept there a couple of nights. Mom will be so happy to see there is no dirty laundry!
I give up now.... I want to take the subway to Grandma. I was stopped at the cashier, no loose dogs was allowed in the sub. So I went home and dressed up in my harness and returned. Well... Then they said I couldn't pay with paté... I give up...
Was going to take the car to Grandma. Hmmm... Strange... The car seems to dysfunction without Mom and Dad in the front seats. Can´t even get out of the garage... Fuck it... I take the underground...
I was going to post the letter to Abroad and what happened??!! You have to be 18 years old to post!??
Damn it... OK, then I take the car to Grandma, she can post it for me...
Fuck it.... What a mess.... Maybe I should use a plate... But I can´t reach them. Tonight I will write a letter to Mom and Dad. I will post it to Abroad.
Monday.
Baking a pizza. Water and flour. What does a pizza need more than that? Maybe a minute in the oven. Damn it! Dad forgot to but the microwave on the floor. I will get dough in the fur when i have to climb up on the table...
I want a pizza. Mom left a note with a phonenumber. I called pizza-delivery. The guy went mad and asked why I barked at him, then he hang up on me. Well I can bake my own pizza!
Uuuuuh... I will not drink any more beer this week. The head is ache and the tongue has glue in the palate. I miss Mom and Dad. Wonder what they are doing in Abroad...
Now the beeer is out... Need moooore beeeeeer..... Better call Pee Wee and see if he have some beeeeeer....
Finally home alone. Wondering what human-food I will eat today... Sweet and sour sauce... Soya... Redbull.. Beer... Beer! BEER!!! LET´S PARTYYY!!!!
Wendsday.
Got up early. Had to said goodbye to Mom and Dad at the airport. Finally they are on their way to Abroad. Now it´s weeks of NO PARENTS AT HOME!
Maybe I should open up a crack-house?
Monday.
Has spend some time at the gym. The instructor said I put to much work on the upper body. I don't think so... I'm so handsome...
Wednesday.
Watching soccer on TV. They really sucks. Running around like maniacs and when they catch the ball... They just kick it... Not even try to tear it apart... Idiots.
Friday.
Bloody hangover.. Had some beers at the local joint yesterday. Get thrown out at eleven o clock. Some fucking cat had complains about us being to loud and losing to much hair... Made a funny face thought the window when we left.
Tuesday.
Sun today. Nice... The first deliveries from my webshop is on the way. Soon the streets will be crowded with my brand. In a few weeks Mom and Dad will go to Abroad. I will stay by myself for 3 weeks. Let´s party...
Tuesday.
Some people say´s I´m looking scary... I think I´m just cute and polite...
Webshop open!
Finally time for some big money. Maybe I will bought a new house for Mom and Dad for the money... I have already bought a diamond necklaces.
I bought the whole factory. Let´s make some teacups!
Monday.
Established a contact in Germany. They have made this prototype. The first series will only be printed in 25 000 ex. Dammed what German Sheppard sounds haughty on the phone... Yah yah! Alles gut!!
idea! Was sitting in front of the computer and had some tea. Then I realise how fucking ugly the cat on my mug Is. It should have a picture of me instead...
Time to open a webbshop...
Wednesday.
Watched a program on Discovery. They showed how the statue in Giza looked before it fall apart...
Tuesday.
My camera wont work today. All the pixels has fallen out on the floor... I put an old picture of me as a puppy instead. My hearing was very good back in the days.
Sunday.
Really cold today. Went out for a some food. They said no dog are allowed in the restaurang... They really missed the thing about hot dog...
Tuesday.
Wonder what happened to the man in the mustache. He always wanted to see how high I could jump. Heard a rumor about him getting in some big problem a few years later.
Got my arcade game to work again. Really hard to play when you don't have any thumbs. Got the same problem when i hitchhiking in Mexico, no one stopped to pick me up...
Got an raw egg for breakfast. Dad said it´s good for my fur. Went to the sofa for a nap. When I woke up I was stuck. The egg had glued me to the pillow.
Never egg in the fur again...
Hey! Where did the weekend go? I woke up this morning and don't remember anything. I don't know how I got home... My wallet and cellphone is gone. I really had to get a pair of jeans with pockets...
More liquor.... More liquor... My brain want´s more liquor... I can smell it here...
Tuesday.
On the way to our country-house. Made a stop for gas. I drunk some of the strange liquid at the gaspump. After a while the world started to spin. When Mom should pay she said I had to stay in the car because I was acting weird. Then there was some pink elephants attacking the car! I kept them away and finally there was a big red dragon killing all the elephants!
Wednesday.
Today I´m in the garage. I remember when I worked in a Italian company. I designed some sports car and even raced in a few competitions. But after awhile we decided to split up. I found this original logo we used. Today I think they changed it a little bit
Could´t sleep last night. Stayed up and played pinball all night. In the morning I got a note in the mail. Strange, it was from the neighbor next door, he couldn´t sleep either... Maybe not so strange. I heard him banking on the wall all night!
Monday.
Had a visit at Grandma yesterday. There am allowed to smoke cigars. It´s a fire hazard to smoke when you have a fur. Hopefully the most of the hair has grown back until Friday. Then I have a date with a girl. She´s name is Gurkan.
Sunday.
The police have found four murdered cats in the park. All I have to say is... My paws are clean... No blood on my paws...
Saturday.
The buzz about doggsurfing...
Today I visit some friends of Mom And Dad. A naked cat had moved in with them. I WAS NOT SCARED! The camera just don't give a fair picture of the circumstances ...
Well after that meeting, I´m ready for anything in space...
Thursday.
I´m so tired. Stayed up late yesterday making some cookies for Mom and Dad. Dad says I´m looking like a peanut when I sleep. What a hell is he talking about???
Rain.. When your stomach is 2 inch from the ground it´s even rain from below... It´s cold.. Mom said I was so dirty I was not allowed to sit in the sofa. I can´t reach the tap in the shower... And even if I could, I have no thumbs to turn it on with...
Thursday.
Went to a concert to help an old friend of mine. He had some lyrics problem but I helped him out. We sang Bark at the Moon and an Iron Chi. Had a hot dog and took the train home.
Dammed it´s hard to get the mascara of...
Wednesday
Had a hamburger for lunch. It was really good. Got some mustard in my eye, and in the ear, and in the fur, and on the carpet, and in the sofa. Dad sad that maybe I would never may have mustard in the burger again...
Barbequeday.
Today I will have a bbq in the park. Is there any better than the scent of grilled Pedigree Pal?
Monday.
Got a mail from my cousin who tried to get over the border from Mexico. He didn´t make it...
He was to fat and got caught in a cactus.
A bit of a hangover after the meeting with the sake bottle. Woke up with Pip Pipen on my head and the tongue clued to my nose. Coulden´t breed properly.
Going try some old photos. My mom says I looked worried as a small puppy. Lucky me I´m not that small anymore...
My and Pip Pipen tok Pikachus´s sake and drank it...
Piip Piipen is my best friend man! He´s the BEST! It´s me and Pip Pipen against the world!! YEAHH!
Where are you Pip Pipen? Hello!?! Piiiii Piiiiipeeeen!!!
MORE SAKE NOW!! Whooo hooooo!!!
Monday.
My Japanese pal Pikachu wake me up early in the morning. He´s so fucking loud when he has been boozing some sake. I got pissed off after a while and pulled him out in he´s ear. Now he´s lying out in the rain and sober up totally red in the face.
Friday.
I have found a new appartment. In the house next to us. It´s bigger and closer to my toilett in the park. Maybe Mom and Dad moves with me...
The heat... Can´t take it... Need ice cream... Now... No Ice Cream... I take my yellow Pip-Pip... Mmmmmm... Like ice cream with extra fuzz...
Today me and dad just watch some old Hong Kong movies. Reminds me of the 70´s when I had a dojo on Manhattan and teached Kung Fu.
Monday.
Must get in to shape. Maybe I´ll start training classic boxing. "In the red corner! Leeeee Feeeee Baaaaalboooooaaaaa!!!!". Dadda da, dadda da, dda da da! dada da!
Sunday.
Have to update my wardrobe. To much 80´s over it. Maybe some new bathing-trunks...
I kick´t ass on madisson square..after the show my dad said I smelled like a dog and told me to take a bath in the jacuzzi and relax. I hate the jacuzzi and relax....
Monday.
Big re-opening for my blog. A lot of people showed up. David Letterman tried to get in, but Pip Pipen who controlled the security stoped him at the door.
That´s the way it goes...
Sunday.
It´s raining. Tok a day in front of the computer. Refesh my blogg. I´ll remake the loggo... Put in some kung fu signs... Change the color to red... Tomorrow it will be a re-opening for my blog. And a new domain name to: www.lifeofleif.com
Yesterday I was out in my country house. Just to check it out. I improved my tan… I really has to bought a pair of sunglasses.
Bought a new camera. I have not figured out how the self-timer works yet. I guess there is a Chinese crested dog who has constructed it…
I got a letter from the postman this morning. It was from the girl I met at Letterman. She was for real after all! She thanked me for the tequila and milk bones. So I was the one who had to pay that night... Well well… After all she was only a singer, can´t make a fortune on that…
Pee Wee was here yesterday. He eat my food and throw up on the carpet were I use to to puke. We going to se each other again. He´s in to math and nationaleconomy too.
Today Pee Wee is coming for a visit. Mom and Dad say I have to be nice to him. Of course I will be nice to him...
Ok, now it´s decided. I will be the second dog in space. My mission is to search for the russian dog Lajka who was the first dog up there. I hope there som fireposts in space…
Yesterday I slept all day long. Was she for real or was it just the tequila and a dream? Had a call from NASA. It´s time to send a second dog in to space to look for Laika. They want me. I have to sleep on it…
Yesterday I slept all day long. Was she for real or was it just the tequila and a dream? Had a call from NASA. It´s time to send a second dog in to space to look for Laika. They want me. I have to sleep on it…
Out all night long… I met a lady behind the scenes at Letterman. She said she was some kind of singer. We party until morning on tequila and milk-bones. I fall asleep in her lap. When I woke up she was gone…
Had a visit at Letterman. Almost ended with a fight. Pip-Pipen didn´t get any questions to answer, even that we had that as a demand to visit the show. We left the rehearsal before they start taping the show. Tonight we going to do the town…
This is getting big now. I’m invited to David Letterman Show tomorrow. Who’s that guy? I’ll better take a bath…
Friday. Borrowed mom’s dressing gown and went back to sleep on the couch. The sleeve’s is a bit too long. Calling a tailor on Monday…
Ok, now it’s done. I met representative from Google today. They want to buy space for advertising on my blog. Final I make some big money...
My blog is growing. Maybe I should contact Google and se if they want to pay me for some ads?
Found an old movieposter from the 70`s in the attic from a movie I played in. unfortunately the movie made the fear of Chihuahua to grow in the society. But at least I made a buck…
The day after… To much cake… To much Tequila.. The last thing I remember is that I was hanging nude from the balcony, screaming to the neighbors cat…
My birthday! Had a big party with all my friends and family. A delicate cake made of minced meat and schrimpcheese… Mmmmm
A really good TV-night. We made some popcorn and laid back. Then dad said that popcorn is too salty for me. DAM FOR SALT! He said that salt is bad for Chihuahua’s.
I slept until lunch today. Me and dad were watching TV all night… Dogs with Jobs on Animal Planet. Maybe I should get a job? Maybe fireman? Or a security dog…
Sometimes I wonder what that rottweiler in the house next to us is thinking??? This morning I had to bark at him to make him understand who is in command…. Idiot… He should be happy I didn’t had a handgun in my pocket this time…
Someday I will go to the moon. Maybe I should contact NASA?
Just have to play with my rubberball first...
Monday.
Got an offer from the company Fjällräven. They want me to figure as there logo and mingle around in some celebrityparty´s. I said no…
